GOOD LUCK JEFF!

Aubrey sent me a text on Saturday that said, “I miss you mom, it's baseball season, it's 2010 and I miss you”...

I felt so far away as I heard the Olympics were on and that the United States was faring well, especially for us in the WINTER Olympics! I'm so out of touch with what is happening in the world; just trust that someone will let me know if anything major occurs. Ashley keeps me updated on some political issues and Bobby is great with the sports...

But the boys of summer ARE back and that IS cause for celebration! In our family, it has been a good bit of the 'glue'. Some of you know that when Bob knew he was dying, the ONLY time he cried was when he looked over at Bobby playing beside the bed (Bobby was a little over 2 years old) and said “I'll never be able to teach him how to fish and play baseball”. At that moment, I knew that baseball (and fishing) would be a big part of our lives.

I loved baseball as a kid and some of my favorite childhood memories were going to the games with my dad. Time with dad was the best...and baseball sealed the deal. I lost some love for the game in 1971 when the Washington Senators left DC to become the Texas Rangers. I took it personally and took a hiatus from baseball for several years just to show them!

But later, living in South Florida when the children were little, was a great opportunity to introduce them to the game up close and personal. Most of you know what happened next with all the connections with baseball, most notably, David Justice. David had taken a personal interest in Bobby and treated him like a son. Some of you know that Bobby once did an interview with the Japanese version of ESPN posing as the son of a Major League Scout discussing the virtues of the Japanese work ethic in baseball! Or when he somehow found himself in the locker room over at Roger Dean with Mark McGuire and friends talking about fishing in the Everglades!

Bobby went on to have an illustrious high school baseball career playing centerfield with South Fork High School with ZERO fielding errors until one game in the State Championships. Bobby tried to play baseball his freshman year at the University of North Florida under Coach Dusty Rhodes but discovered that his smaller size was more than a bit of a detriment. But his love remained and his sisters that had no choice but to love the game were forever hooked.

Most of you know the Jeff Allison story...1st round draft pick of the Marlins in 2003 and then a skid with destiny that almost took his life. Jeff bravely has added another year of sobriety to his long list of accomplishments and is ready to start Spring Training, 2010. He feels good about the season, is physically and mentally ready, and thinks this could be the year. As you all know, I love Jeff like my second son. I'm counting on Katrin, Tara, Carol Pahl and Professor to head over to the park and show their support. Jeff has promised to fly me out of Belize and to whatever MLB park if he gets THE CALL to start in the bigs. That sound incredibly wonderful to me!!

The picture is my desk in my humble abode in San Miguel with my interesting wall decorations. Yes, baseball reminds me of so many happy times back home. It is the one constant in America...it reminds of us of all that was good in our childhoods. It bridges gaps, tears down walls, and links sons to their fathers they never knew.

So go to Roger Dean. Stand proud as you hear my good friend and neighbor, Cristina belt out the most beautiful rendition of our National Anthem. Put up your feet, down a beer, and root, root, root for the home team. And if they don't win, who cares? You are there enjoying your youth and everything that is good in your life.

Best of luck, Jeff. I'm behind you 100%. PLAY BALL!!

God bless us all!!

Who this Peace Corps experience is really for???

The driving force behind my decision to join the Peace Corps was one of a desire to do my small part to make this world a better place. I didn't really know how that would come about but I trusted that if I put myself 'out there', the powers of the universe would show me the way. So far, I feel like I'm still on the outside looking in and the path is hazy to say the least!?!

What have I learned so far? Belize is a very diverse country with a diverse people. The cultures vary as far as the spectrum can arc. The Mestizo's (Spanish) and the Garifuna (African slave refugees that ended up in Jamaica and then here) know how to party! Their life seems relatively uncomplicated, not terribly motivated, love music and dance and tend to inbibe repeatedly and incessantlly! In sharp constrast are the Mayans—whether Mopan or K'ekchi. Their life is arduous, purposeful, and somber. They tend to marry young and have large families. There are no toys, no recreation, music from the churches only, and no dance. Individually, I can sometimes see a glimpse of humor and/or levity but as a group they are ALL rote. The men work on their farms, not for a salary, but to feed their family. So all their food is straight from their farms and the surrounding land. This explains why, when I made them some chocolate chip cookies that they eyed the cookie curiously and reluctantly before they tried one, then two, then three!!! The women bust their butts to wash, cook, clean, and take care of the large family. The children learn these same practices at very early ages so they will be ready for adulthood by the time they're 14. The country as a whole is extremely impoverished. It appears to me that the more educated people have an idea of the world 'outside Belize' and greatly desire Belize to make strides with infrastructure advancement. But most seem oblivious to the outside world and would just as soon stay just as they are...it seems to me reminiscent of our American Indian! Therein lies the problem...no motivation to improve themselves. Sometimes I can see the advantages of staying just as they are...certainly within their dying Mayan culture. Can you imagine my challenge here? We don't help where we see 'issues' but where they want changes. And basically, they like it just the way it is!! So each individual day, I accomplish terribly difficult tasks like helping a mom hull her corn, teaching a child a new card game, or helping an elder walk up the hilly road... Hazy path, indeed!

I have learned that my life back home was easy and wasteful. If you could see how these people live you would thank God (or whoever you believe in) that you were born or live in our country. The ONLY problem is sometimes we don't know it until we live here totally engulfed in a entirely different culture and experience these adverse conditions. My hair is falling out by the handfuls (thank goodness I had lots to start with!), my skin is saggy from weight loss and dehydration, and I believe my eyes have lost their sparkle...(don't know for sure since it's been months since I've looked at a mirror). But if I left here tomorrow, my life has been made richer for the experience. I know I will live my remaining days on this planet in total gratitude. I am so thankful to my children and my friends for making life so enjoyable and my only regret is that I don't believe I've taken adequate time and energy to let you know how much I appreciate you. I hope you will forgive me.

Last week, while in Belmopan for our All Volunteer Conference, I had occasion to do two things that were REALLY important in my life before Peace Corps. I picked up a tennis racquet for the first time in 7 or 8 months and I played in a poker tournament. With borrowed tennis shoes and racquet, I hit against another volunteer at the American Embassy. I was terribly rusty and felt clutsy not to mention, hot and sweaty. But just to have the opportunity was a real treat. Then Saturday, Bobby had paid for a buy-in to a satellite poker tournament in Belize City for a $2500 buy-in in March. I was afraid that I might have forgotten how to play but it basically came back to me. Best hand I had all afternoon was pocket 8's and I misplayed that one badly. Thought I was ahead (and I was) until the river but couldn't get him to fold. I'm sure Bobby would have played just about every hand I had differently...ended up 16th out of 42 (not great) and certainly not good enough to win one of the six seats they gave away. What did strike me at the tournament was how careless everyone played. My Peace Corps mindset of no waste and deliberate and calculative spending does not blend homogeneously with the mentality of a poker game where a reckless lifestyle is an advantage. I hope to play tennis again but believe it's best to leave poker alone for now. But, thank you Bobby for your generosity that gave me that opportunity to learn that lesson.

I have been writing this blog in the community center of San Miguel waiting for some 'moms' to show up. There are a group of American dentists coming to the neighboring village of Columbia (only 3 miles away) on February 27 and 28. I have done two dental presentations in each of the classrooms, done a limited screening on all 183 students with a note sent home to the parents, succeeded in getting the teachers to have students brush their teeth at school after lunch, and put up flyers at all the 'shops' in the village asking parents to become involved with their child's dental health by coming today from 1-4 to discuss their individual child's status. The general state of dental health here is alarming and needs desperate attention. Again, my thoughts and not theirs! It's almost 4 and not one parent... such a HAZY PATH!!

I have learned lessons here and I attempt to pass them on to you... that's the only crystal clear path right now...the Belizean/Hodson path remains hazy!

God bless us all!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Last week we had our all volunteer conference in Belmopan. The second year PCVs joined our group of 40! (Soon 40 more will arrive on March 25 and we won't be the rookies!) In fact, neighbor Kerry, on Murray Ct. knows one of the incoming volunteers and we have been emailing--JANE! Looking forward to meeting her.

There has been a fair amount of travel lately with the conference and our second round of language training. I think K'ekchi might be the hardest language on the planet!! (But what do I know?...just English!!)

Returning to San Miguel at this point is met with mixed reviews. I'm anxious to help--to make a difference--to improve quality--to be a friend! They have had the same type of life for hundreds of years and have a certain acceptance of that. Sometimes, even though they requested a Peace Corps volunteer, I'm not sure what they are willing to do on their end to facilitate improvement. Peace Corps is definitely a partnership idea. We don't come in and change for change sake, rather work together so that they OWN their projects. I'm currently working on plans for the playground. This is mostly intended for the wee little ones so there's some 'early childhood stimulation'. Even though this may sound like 'child's play' to you, it would be HUGE if these people would allow themselves (or their children) to just play a little. It truly is a hard and serious life for all of them.

My host sister, Luisa, who is 16 is getting married on February 28. She recently dropped out of school with only a year and a half til graduation. The groom's parents came over on 3 different occassions to 'engage' their son to Luisa. Luisa is happy to be getting married and begin her married life of cooking, cleaning in the river, and being a dutiful wife...different culture for sure! I hope to be in attendance for the wedding. It happens to be on the same day that some US dentists are coming to the neighboring village and I will be helping???

I hope all of you have a happy valentine's day! It's not about the flowers and the chocolates, is it?

Until next time, God bless us all! tracy