Good Story or Bad Story?

Recently, two very different but quite incredible stories have surfaced. You want the good one or the bad one first? I'll start with the good...

This past week in San Miguel, I had Mallory (one of the Peace Corps Volunteers) stay with me for the week while she worked with the RCP teachers here in San Miguel. (The Roving Caregivers Program is an educational program offered in remote villages to provide young children {8 mos-3 years} early childhood stimulation and teach some English so that the transition into primary school is smoother)

After we had both finished for the day on Tuesday, I decided to borrow a bike for Mallory and the two of us took off for 'Tiger Cave' . I had been taken to Tiger Cave by a local back in November and took Aubrey there when she visited at Christmas time.

It is not a tourist cave..in fact, it is pretty much all unbridled territory that few venture. One would NEVER find their way to the cave had they not been taken there and paid very close attention. Ask Aubrey...just getting there is an adventure (Not to mention a long bike hike!)

So Mallory and I set out and three dogs came with us...mine is Blackie and then there are two others that belong to the neighbors here but they spend all their time at my house. Their names are Mickey and Sleepy. I'm especially fond of Mickey.

We finally arrive dripping with perspiration (nothing new about that) The dogs drank from the river we had to traverse before finding the hidden path that leads to the entrance of the cave as we drank from our bottles. There was a tremendous drop in the temperature as we hiked along the path through jungle vegetation into the rainforest leading up to the cave. The cooler temperatures felt refreshing.

The whole time the three dogs were enjoying the adventure, running alongside our bikes on the way and now navigating through the difficult terrain approaching the mouth of the cave. Mallory is also loving the adventure.

I'm feeling rather gallant in my trailblazing prowess. Mallory, who is 23 years old and played Division I soccer, is impressed by the experience while keeping up with athletic ease. The five of us enter the cave.

We are immediately divebombed by bats that I'm sure aren't trying to hit us but several brush us as we duck and try to avoid the collisions. I lead her through narrow openings and climb treacherous rock. Treacherous because it is steep but also because of the dripping water in the cold, damp, dark cave making our footing quite slippery. The dogs decide they can't make it so they stop at one point and start howling for our return. Minutes later, they conquer their fear and now we are five again.

After spending nearly an hour negotiating through the cave, I decide we better start heading back. It will be dark in an hour and I am responsible for this young whippersnapper. The dogs are having a more difficult time going DOWN through the narrow crevices but manage with a little coaxing and gentle shoves. All except Sleepy. He decides he can't do it. We had experienced their reluctance many times already so we kept going knowing he would get over his fear and just come. Come on now...these are Mayan dogs in their element. We get out of the cave with Blackie and Mickey...still no Sleepy. We call for him and we just hear his howling.

I decide that we have to go back and try to get Sleepy. Just then, Mallory spots him up on a ledge that has to be 60 to 70 ft above us and off to the right. We go back inside the cave and try to climb to him. At one point, there's a tier that I don't think I can get up on. I ask Mallory to try and she is able. She gets close to Sleepy and tries to persuade him to come close enough so she can grab him and try to pull him. He is not budging. I attempt to get up upon the ledge and make it. I finally climb to Sleepy and am able to persuade him to come close enough that I can grab him and pull him down through the narrow crevice to a lower landing. Now it seems to us that it will be smooth sailing...

We get down to the next 'easier' pass through the rock and Mickey and Blackie manage fine. Sleepy freaks out and runs off and heads straight back up to the 70 foot high ledge. At this point, I'm frustrated, it's 5:31, going to be dark soon, and I know that Sleepy has seen how to get down the especially difficult pass. I tell Mallory that we need to go and that I'm sure Sleepy will find his way out.

We get out of the cave and look back and up and see Sleepy standing on the high ledge. He is howling. I call to him one last time but to no avail. We leave and return to San Miguel. I am feeling certain that he will be on my doorstep the next morning.

We wake up Wednesday morning and no Sleepy. Damn! I have to go into PG for a meeting at 10 so I catch the 7 am bus. Guilt is setting in. How could I abandon that dog? The cave is called 'Tiger Cave' because the legend is that a jaguar tried jumping from one high ledge (where Sleepy was) to another and missed and fell to his death the 60-70 feet below...right where we had been ducking from the bats... I envision Sleepy howling all night and drawing attention to himself from any one of the known predators...especially the jaguars...they could be feasting right now...

I arrive back in San Miguel on the 4 o'clock bus...I immediately ask Mallory is she would mind staying one extra night and that maybe tomorrow after 'work', we could go back to the cave and try to get Sleepy. She is good with that. I head over to my garden and Sleepy's owner walks over (never met him before) and asks if I had seen Sleepy since he knows how the dog is always over here?? “No, I've been in PG all day and haven't seen him”, I didn't lie. I felt that 'guilt' was written all over my face, though!

Thursday, after Mallory and I were both done with our 'duties', we headed back to the cave. Whereas I had left the cave two days ago KNOWING that Sleepy would manage to get out, now I'm fairly certain that since he has not returned, he is probably dead. I pack my backpack with provisions that would have made an Eagle Scout confident...rope, headlamps, matches, candles, tools for burying, tools for carrying, splints for mending, and Bob's hunting knife for the jaguar??? We talk the whole way there about scenarios we may encounter and what we do in each case. Finally, Mallory suggests that we talk about something else as she is mortified...good idea.

The ride there was fast...we were on a mission...the negotiating the trails leading to the cave was fast...we had purpose.. We approached the mouth of the cave and didn't hear a thing. All of a sudden, Sleepy must have heard us and he started his pathetic howl. He was ALIVE! He was still perched on the ledge up high. We entered the cave and climbed up to him. We were able to tie the rope around his neck and even though he resisted every inch of the way, Mallory was able to pull him down as I pushed him from behind. Once he was committed to the fall, his footing somehow miraculously became sure.

We were hoping that Sleepy would just run home ahead of us but no, he was glued to us. We lingered for hours to wait until dark so we would have less explaining to do when we approached the village. I rehearsed many alibis which Mallory told me were all totally unacceptable. I was only allowed one word answers.

We rode into San Miguel in the pitch black hoping to be unnoticed. Didn't happen. We get near my house and Sleepy's owner sees Sleepy and me and says, “Miss Tracy, Sleepy's back!” I heed Mallory's advice and say, “Yeah!” No more was said.

So Sleepy is alive and well and on a rope outside his home and I'm sure, 'forbidden' to visit Miss Tracy. For that matter, Mickey is roped up also which is something that you never see in the village. At night, the three dogs can be heard howling to one another about their adventure in the cave. Blackie and I are alone in the house wondering where all our friends are...

The story ended well in that no one was hurt and all the dogs returned safely. But with the already suspicious Mayan disposition, Miss Tracy is suspect. She was seen leaving the village on Tuesday with three dogs. She returned Tuesday with two. She leaves on Thursday with no dogs and returns Thursday with one.

P.S. She didn't ask the dogs to come along on Tuesday, they just followed the lady that loves them...

Bad story will be the next blog. You have read enough!

God bless us all...(animals, too)...tracy

Happy Birthday Brother, SKIP!!!

Happy Birthday to my big brother, Skip!! Most of you haven't met either of my brothers as they don't live too close to South Florida but I'd like to share a bit about my brother...

When I was in a body cast as an infant, my brother, Skip was the one to carry me around, play with his little sister, and drag her around in his wagon. This is in contrast to my brother, Bruce who when I was propped up against a wall would sneak when he thought no one was watching and tip me over so I landed face first on the floor (hence, my turned-up nose). I have no recollection of this time as it was from one month old to a little over two years old. My parents had filled me in on the kind of brother Skip and Bruce were. Skip was six when I was born...

About 26 years ago, Skip had a 'freak' accident while cleaning his sailboat (out of the water) when the mast hit a power line and nearly ended his life. The doctors didn't expect him to live and thought that if he did, he would be severely brain damaged. Three months in the burn unit at Jackson Memorial, skin grafts, and minus one leg, he came out of the experience spiritually stronger and perhaps, mentally stronger too. (Brother Bruce and I thought the electricity 'supercharged' those dormant brain cells!!) He has been an inspiration to us all and has also helped numerous limb amputees regain their zest for life.

He has been a loving father to his three beautiful daughters, Christi, Karri, and Alissa.

He even tried to be a father to my three after Bob died but that didn't go over so well. But now that everyone is grown up, my three children have such a new appreciation for their Uncle Skip. When I recently went home, he treated us all to dinner when we were in Jacksonville and the kids had a blast with him and thoroughly enjoyed his company. He is always quite humorous to say the least...

And I would not be here serving in the Peace Corps were it not for my brother Skip's help and support.

He is more of a dinosaur on the computer than I am...is that possible?!? So he probably won't read this but I sure hope my nieces fill him in...

Just let him know how much I appreciate him and how much I love him. Happy Birthday, Skipper!

God bless us all...tracy

Happy 4th of July!!!!!!

Dear Friends and Family,

I have started writing this blog at least six times and have aborted each one...

I'm here in Punta Gorda as a bunch of PCV's from the Toledo district have decided to gather for a little 4th of July celebration BBQ this afternoon. There was a thunderstorm last night which cooled the air and cut the humidity. It's down to a mere 98 degrees and 70% humidity which leaves us at a heat index of 115 which is down from the previous week. And of course, no AC anywhere so no relief. (I think Florida summers will be a bit easier to take!)

I'm writing today because it's the 4th of July--truly a day to celebrate our country's independence. But in each of the previous attempts, I became too political and too polarized. This is precisely what I see as our big problem back home. Healthy debate is always good. Finger pointing, name calling, spin on top of spin for argument's sake is a detriment to the development of better ways of working together.

When I see how the people in Belize live and compare it with back home, I am struck by the accentuated contrast. Ten months ago, I saw this as poverty. But I have decided that poverty is more an attitude than a calculated measure of what you have versus what you don't have. The people in my village don't think they live in poverty...they have food, clothing, and a roof over their head. They have everything they need and they're happy. Belize is a beautiful mix of varied ethnicities. Their existence is as close to nature and spirit as the varied palms reaching towards the heavens.

I'm aware now that most of the world is more like Belize and the United States is in the minority of the few countries that are considered 'super powers'. So if Belizeans see themselves as rich and happy people, we need to take inventory of all our blessings in the United States. Let's start by seeing the good in the differences in each of us rather than that which divides us. You know, united we stand...

Happy 4th of July! God bless us all...tracy

Village Buses

At least once a week I ride the village bus into Punta Gorda town usually for groceries... On each village bus (which are 'retired' US school buses) there's the driver and a 'conductor'. The conductor's job is to assist passengers on and off the bus with their loads and the collection of bus fares.

The two conductors on the two village buses that service San Miguel strut identically. There's a certain cocky 'flare' as they walk down the center aisle collecting the fares. I can do an excellent imitation (I think) of their mannerisms but Greg (a fellow PCV in the neighboring village of Silver Creek) does it better. There's good reason for their 'strut'...they are among the few that have jobs with paychecks in Toledo. (The vast majority primarily live off the land) So it's really 'cool' to be a conductor.

I counted the number of stops my bus made this morning--42! The villagers wait at an area closest to their front door and it makes no nevermind if there is another person waiting a mere 15 to 20 feet away. Also, invariably, they wait on the upslope of a hill...I think it might make good mechanical sense if they caught the bus at the top or the downslope?? The bus slips a bit back down the hill until the gears engage and the engine STRAINS...mechanics must have plenty of work here.

There are two people generally to a seat (although I've seen moms with their 5 children all sitting together--6 total!!) I'm usually one of the first ones to load as I am at the beginning of the route (p.s. I wait on the downslope) So there's always a empty seat next to me. That spot is usually the last to fill--clearly, I'm not a desireable seatmate!! Children and some of the younger Mayan ladies are the exception daring to sit with the White Lady.

Today, a beautiful young Mayan lady CHOSE to sit next to me eventhough there were plenty of empty seats. She took her seat without a word, glance lowered, but a hint of a slight smile. After several minutes I asked her where she was going (some get off at neighboring villages) and she answered "PG". A bit later I told her she was a BEAUTIFUL girl. She giggled softly, covering her mouth, and still looking downward...definitely NO eye contact.

Next, I asked her if she was married (appeared to be about 20 or 21 which is old NOT to be married here). She answered, "no", and I blurted out without much thought, "well, good for you!" With that she giggled a little more, hand still covering her smile. A few minutes later, a group of three young Mayan men boarded the bus and I commented that the one was really cute. More giggles...Then one got on that I said was too skinny and another one was too short. By now, she is almost laughing out loud, head raised and looking RIGHT at me!! (I'm sure she was thinking, what a weirdo I was??) but nonetheless, I KNOW she was enjoying her ride to town.

On the rest of our ride to PG, her whole posture had changed...her glance was no longer downward and the smile had become unleashed. Apparently, when it comes to the 'mating game', there are no differences in age, ethnicities, and no borders that divide us...we are ALL sisters...

God bless us all...tracy

Doggie Dilemma

I have wanted to serve in the Peace Corps since I first heard about its inception when I was only seven years old. It has been hard to find the window of time in my life when it would work for myself and my family as most of you know 'my story'... When I left in August, I thought I had most of my 'business' attended to...house rented, car sold, possessions sold or given away, money saved for Aubrey's last year of undergraduate education, not to mention all the fun paperwork involved in packing up one's life and moving to a third world country... It was especially hard to leave my two dogs because as you know, I'm a HUGE dog lover and Duchess and Chunk are like my best friends...but I thought I had all the particulars worked out with them so I took the leap of faith and pursued my dream...

ONE BIG PROBLEM...The initial plan with the dogs did not work out and then the dogs were bounced from Aubrey, to Ashley, and then to Bobby. I appreciate their help but it is impossible for Aubrey to care for them with her 12 hour shifts. Ashley and Bobby already have two of their own and four has been a hardship. Right now, Ashley has been caring for Chunk and Bobby has Duchess. But Duchess has a bladder stone that needs a special 'canned food' diet and frequent trips outside. Poor thing, I guess it's all part of getting older for my sweetheart.

If there is anyone out there that might be able to care for one of my dogs for the remainder of the time while I'm here in the Peace Corps, please contact me through my email or comment on this blog. They are both loving, kind, and affectionate Maltese that sorely miss their mom (I miss them too)

I want to stand strong in pursuing my ultimate dream of service with the Peace Corps but this situation has reached a critical point and I may have to leave. I will pray for resolution...

God bless us all...

Lots of Little Updates

My host mom made a dress for me like all the women wear in the village. It certainly was an 'icebreaker' for the shy Mayan ladies. Even THEY were quick to tell me how much they liked me in my new dress!

Last week was the swearing in of the new volunteers. I thought our group was cohesive and enthusiastic but this new group of 36 is amazing! Zack delivered an inspiring speech that elevated me right out of my seat. He made me excited about getting back to my village of San Miguel. (Pictured is Jane and myself after swearing in--she is a new volunteer that Kerry from Murray Ct. knows!!)

I'm almost finished with the inventory of books in the principal's office...

Today I helped another neighbor build his 'new' latrine. That is ALWAYS a job. One of my goals here is to see that every village home has their own latrine. I believe there are 3 or 4 more to go...

I have been working on my garden and planting many of the seeds you have sent. (By the way, your seeds have found their way all over this little country in village and school gardens--thank you, thank you!) It's rainy season so I'm not sure how successful I'll be this time of year. When it rains, it's a deluge and often the seeds get washed away. I'm not giving up though. The men in San Miguel have their farms that they ride to every morning--usually about 3-5 miles out of the village. There, they grow predominantly corn and beans. No one in the village (except me)has a garden. I am trying to generate interest by working in my garden. Passerbys have inquired as to what I'm trying to grow, etc. There is 'food security' in San Miguel as no one goes hungry. But the diet lacks variance and balance. Every meal is either chicken, eggs, or fish with rice and beans and tortillas. Fruits are eaten only when in season and growing on one's property. Otherewise, there aren't fruits and vegetables unless you can afford to go into Punta Gorda on market days and buy from the vendors. I'm hoping my garden will 'open doors' for discussion on nutrition and healthier diets and maybe gardens of their own! No Einstein needed here to see that diet plays a HUGE role in Belize with the high incidence of high bllod pressure, diabetes, and premature death.

The PCPP grant proposal is still in Peace Corps Belize's office. Most of you know about the playground that we want to build here in San Miguel. After the proposal gets approved here, it will be sent to the main office in Washington, DC. At that point, I'll write more concerning the project as many of you have indicated interest in helping out...thank you so much.

They are anticipating a busy hurricane season--sure you all know that better than I do. I am one of the 'wardens' for the group of volunteers in Toledo. Wardens make sure PCV's get the message to evacuate and consolidate in the event of a storm. The problem is that in most of Toledo, PCV's have no cell phone service, no village 'community phone', and infrequent bus service. I have visions of mounting my neighbor's horse (pictured) and playing Paul Revere. Should be interesting...

Last picture is a new cat that has found his way into my house (along with the chickens, rooster, rabbits, and Blackie. I have put my foot down when the pigs try to come through!!) Word must be out in the animal community that the white lady has food...

All is well...God bless us all...love, tracy

No Place Like Home!

Toto! I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!

I'm reflecting on whether it was more of a culture shock to arrive back in the states or when I returned to Belize via Mexico...not sure...

It was so wonderful to arrive in Florida. It took me 19 hours to get to Cancun from Punta Gorda and only an hour and twenty minutes to fly to Orlando...wow! When I first stepped foot in Orlando, the thought occurred to me to kiss the ground of our wonderful country but thought I might create a 'people traffic jam' as the crowd was busy scurrying along. So I didn't. Everything looked so squeaky clean and shiny.

It was absolute heaven to spend quiet time with Ashley, Bobby, and Aubrey. After Aubrey's graduation and Sue Brown's visit, we had the pleasure of being able to use Kim and Joann's place in North Carolina for several days where we all reconnected...very little TV, no cell phones, no computer... We hiked in the mountain fresh air and made a fire in the fireplace. Just two days earlier, I had left temperatures in the 110 degree range...a nice and welcomed change.

We came back to Jupiter and had a chance to visit with many dear friends. Thank you all for your hospitality and generosity with all the dinner tabs. Really feel like your poor and indigent friend but I guess there's much truth to that!! Rich in friendships, however. I feel so blessed.

Back to the village and life as usual. This felt like coming home again...somewhat odd. It is such a different culture but much to be said about the uncomplicated existence. So poor but very few worries. That very idea has been one of my main challenges. Just sooo used to being busy in the States that this slowed-up pace has been a foreign concept.

Thank you all for a wonderful visit home...my welcome mat is always out if any of you care to venture...I think Carlene and Katrin might do it!!!

God bless us all...tracy